


The Impure Angel

by Yana801



Category: BL - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Death Angels, Dramatic, I love making my readers suffer, Love, M/M, POV, Suicide Attempt, angel - Freeform, delinquent child but still in love, for people who loves BL and tragedy, not sorry, overdosing feelings, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25763419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yana801/pseuds/Yana801
Summary: PrologueDeath, is an inevitable nature of life that every mortal must overcome. Whether it is painful or not, it is not a question for every death have their own reasons, but still end up the same. Then the soul will leave the owner-the lifeless body and get sent to the Questioning Hall, more likely a court to determine whether the soul is of worthy to place in Heaven or Hell. After a human’s death, the soul became conscious after being pulled out from its medium and afterwards, will be lost if not for another being from the Heavens to guide the soul and send it to the ‘other side’ which is the ground that separated Heaven and Hell. These pure beings, are created by God, to serve the purpose of watching the last moment of human’s lives, take their souls and send them to Him to be judge. They are called, Death Angels.
Relationships: Angel/Human





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work based on fictional characters, stories, settings and everything in it so if there are similarities in your life, they are all coincidences and I've said, this is just fiction. Enjoy!

I was born from the light, and He granted me a body, of a man, and a heart of pure with black-short hair and a brain of intelligence-for merely thinking and quick to learn. If I could remember, He also granted me wings, big and of pure white which symbolizes an angel that would serve under His command until Judgement Day arrives. But now, wings are to be kept hidden for a feather of it would bring dissatisfaction upon God, which wings are a symbol of greatness, power, and strength. For angels to show their wings for their own sake, they would be punished severely, as what He said to us. Even I rarely remembered how my wings looked like if not for the work given by the leader of the Death Angel, Azrael. We made it invisible so no one would see it, even for themselves. Alas, we forgot how our wings were, yet still remembered that we are angels. Sometimes I would think, ‘Why God granted us wings but forbid us to show them?’ It would be convenient if He would create us without them and granted us the ability to fly with his permission. Yet, it was all in my mind, the useless questions which God may despise if I would bring the question up. We are merely made to become His servants, without a choice.

Angels do not sleep, does not eat, or even get tired. Even so, we could never feel emotions, which for it is useful to witness death without disgust or pity. Desire is forbidden for any angels to have. Because of it, He took away our pleasure, satisfaction, and anything related to it for us to work smoothly without doubt to avoid being influenced. If I might say, we are programmed to work under the conditions to follow every rule, without emotions, and think of your actions before do so. I was born to be a Death Angel, as when I went to work on my first day, with my big scythe, flying around in one of the neighborhoods of Japan, I knew what I was going to do. But, little did I know the terror and horror of watching people dying, which could leave a scar if bore emotions. Yet, I felt it, which questioned my creation may have slight error somewhere. It was painful to watch but I was forced to bear it for work’s sake because we need detailed records of the death. I felt nauseated at that time, to vomit but as angels don’t eat, what am I to vomit for? It was painful death, where a woman, stabbed herself many times because of insanity. So I’ve learned, that human nature, was cruel than those who doesn’t have emotions. From that moment, I trained to execute my work as perfectly as God wills it.

As time passes by, after witnessing so many deaths in the past 200 years, I didn’t even realize I was living this entire time with so many events happened, yet I could not remember any single of them. But only for the first time, as the scar still burns in my chest, for at that time, I didn’t control my emotions well and was unaccustomed to the situation. Now that I remembered, after 200 years, I was born without emotions, but why did I feel disgust? Does every angel would experience that? I could never ask such a suspicious question with the other angels, because I was afraid of punishment. Until now, the modern era of Japan comes forth with many changes of the city. It became a large island of buildings but also at certain parts, it is still green. I do not mind much but the change somehow interests me. Different lives, different deaths, yet it still bores me to death. Then one day when I was heading to my next location, I stopped by a temple of fortune where in the beliefs of these people, these fortunes are God’s own words. With no one around, I picked a fortune paper and when I opened it, it says, ‘You will experience something extraordinary in your life.’ If I were a human, I would hope for more to come, but as an angel, there was nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

It was so sudden a change in my life that it made me think of the possibilities of destiny. To pry onto the living’s choices, will only be given punishment for the irresponsible act. But if it isn’t that much of a deal, then it will be forgotten. I cannot tell if it was destiny that our eyes meet, or coincidence, but one thing for sure that this man, this mortal is something for me.

Somehow, I believed those words scrabbled in paper from the temple picked for entertainment’s sake. Three months have passed since then and on the day of my work, which was evening in Japan, a task was sent to me in my notebook and when I looked at it, it says, ‘Name, Yoshito Nagakura, age, 17 years old, time of death, 5:40 p.m., details, 3 KM from you, standing at the tall bridge, wanting to jump of it and kill himself, wears a high school uniform, brownish haired, 178 cm tall, a delinquent.’ With all that information given to me, I was surprised there was someone close who wants to die because normally, I would be given a task 10 to 20 KM away from where I am. Though lucky, but I sympathize for a boy of young age to die. Without thinking much, I pursue to the location and yes, I found the boy, who is currently alone, standing at the edge of the bridge. I was flying and slowly descend in front of him, while floating in the air. When I look at my watch, it was almost time for his death, for the boy soon climb up to the side of the rails and stood, looking down in sorrow. There was no one around, too quiet and the perfect place to commit suicide without interruption. As the time goes on which I believed it was the final moment, I began to feel confuse that why isn’t the boy jumped yet. I looked at my watch and it’s two minutes passed the estimated time of death, but the boy didn’t jump or make any movement. When I look at him, he kept staring out in the open, shocked to see something beyond. I soon felt frozen when I stared at him seriously, that he was actually staring at…me. Our eyes really met and when I blinked twice, he still looked at me and when I move side to side a bit, his head followed, and can’t stop staring at me in disbelieve. I held my breath while staring at the boy without saying anything and hoped for him to not see me. Soon the boy began to ask me.

“W-What are you?!” he said in shock and with his clumsiness, he stumbled back and fell to the ground.

I just float there, still confuse, so I approach the boy slowly and land on the edge of the bridge. Before I could say anything, an incoming message came in my notebook. The writing which was carved says, ‘Death cancelled due to unexplained circumstances.’ At the same time I do not understand why would they labelled this as unexplained as it was clearly I was interrupting his death. The thought of being punished, feared me. Then suddenly, the boy asked me once more after he recover from the fall.

“Hey,” he said while standing in front me, “Who are you?”

I do not want to answer that question for it would reveal who I really am. But this boy had witness me and in curiosity, will never stop on wanting to know. This is troublesome as in my years of work, I’ve never encountered this situation before. Then again, I must get out from this problem. “I’m just someone from your dream. An imaginary person from your head who witness my owner to die here. You are unconscious of my existence that’s why you suddenly could see me in front of you, for I would always appear in your head.”

“Huh, really? But I never thought I have an imaginary friend now. I think you are from my childhood days. I don’t really much remember you but, why are you here?”

“To witness you dying, obviously. If you die, then I too would perish along with you.”

“…It’s none of your concern… Hah! I think I’m crazy talking all alone with some stupid imagination friend. I wish you die first then pity me for killing myself.”

I was truly at a loss of words to give him, because I thought something after he said all those. What if I too die first rather than watch others die and they would see me, carrying the feelings of disdain into their graves. The ones who live, will remorse and sense of guilt will consume them eventually. Then after a while of silence, I excused myself to leave.

But he calls out to me and said, “Hey, why do you appear before my death? Are you…trying to make me realize something that to die is not worth it? Or to save your own skin?”

“…I said I’m just witnessing you. That’s all there is,” I said before flying to the air and disappear from his sight. Before so, I glanced at my back and the boy was still there, in sitting with his head down, as tears streaming down from his eyes. I felt only pity. Because more than that, would drag me into my own grave.


	3. Chapter 3

My work of witnessing death and send souls to the ‘other side’ still are the same as ever. It was boring yet what can I do but to follow orders. I was programmed to do so, and there are no questions to disregard the work I’ve been assigned to. The boy, named Yoshito Nagakura and the first encounter still lingers in my mind. Whenever in leisure, I would rest around and think of that boy. He is, somehow mysterious as he could see me when the most powerful omnyojis and exorcist in the world could not. I cannot deny I would like to investigate this man further into his lives. But as he could see me, he would get suspicious if I were to be around him. Though I could sneak about, I guess I could try. Even I do not know why I would go this far. Maybe he interests me this much.

Before I could do the attempt, I wanted to make sure if any history of angels encountering humans were existed and therefore, could give me a hint of what Yoshito is. I came back to HQ to send my finished task of the day to let the executives record it. Then I asked the secretary of our leader if she could let me see Azreal for I have questions that needed answers. She went to the office and when she appeared back to her desk, she told me to enter the main office. I went inside after knocking several times until the leader permit me to come inside. As I did so, he told me to sit down in front of him and state my reason.

“Good day, sir. I am here to ask about if there is any history about a human would saw death angels in any situation.”

“And why would you wanted to know?”

“Because I need to prepare for the probable scenario to come. And because I’ve never been taught such things for the past 200 years of service.”

“Well, if you are that curious, it is a good thing but never get too curious or you’ll break the rules.”

“I am fully aware of that.”

“Then what I could say to you that there are some past records of angels who died or forgot about their counter with humans. As I did, as I have lived longer than any others, too met a human and that human became crazy because he saw me sat beside her wife’s dead body and when I was about to remove her soul. He shouted to me and everyone in the room calmed him down and thought he has lost his mind. I did my job, kept quiet and leave them forever.”

“In the end, it is all about doing the job and nothing else mattered.”

“It is fatal if any angels would get closer to a human who has those kind of eyes. That is why I left the place immediately.”

“Why?”

“…Because they have what angels don’t and we have what they don’t. We feared they will ask for more as we let down our guard. And we feared of becoming impure when in contact with any of them. Listen, they are one of the most dangerous beings in the world. We have intelligence, but they are deceitful. One step closer to them, means death for us. A painful one.”

After the talk, I bowed with respect to Azreal and left the office, I decided to head for the Souls Department Unit where they kept the information about humans who ever lived in the world either dead, alive and about to born. For me to request such information, I feel ashamed of myself. But none of that matters for my heart could not rest until I found out about that boy. When I ask the person in charge for the information, he declined me without any second thought. I begged him until my knees touched the floor and then my forehead, yet still he won’t change his mind for me. It leaves me no choice but to leave HQ, then returned to the human world through a portal after taking my next task from the Task Board. It is in the shape of a notebook so we angels could keep track of our jobs. If I can’t get the information within, then I would gather it myself. I would visit his house every day and observe his daily routine and follow him to the end of the Earth if I have to just know him better. I feel myself doing something foolish as an angel, but, my heart could not keep calm. At any rate, I need to know why he wanted to kill himself. With my invisible wings, and my black scythe, the hunt for death is upon!


	4. Chapter 4

For a week I kept track on Yoshito and his life, is unhappy indeed. I could reason why he wanted to kill himself because he is in deep sorrow while being with his family. His mother did not treat him like her own son, the same as the father. The brother and sister, both hated him for some reason which I don’t know. It is like, not a family at all. They all treated the boy as a stranger for they would fight almost every day if the boy ever lost his temper. Sometimes he didn’t come home for a day or two because he slept with a girl or hang out at his friends’ house. For his school life, he would always smile and laugh with his gang but nevertheless, his actions, attire and attitude are negative, which puts him in detention for several times. I’ve even went as far as to check the discipline files of Yoshito and found it very unlikely of him. Though he is a smart boy but even the mind could not overpower his desire and emotions, which made him easily influenced and went to the wrong path. I feel nothing but pity that he had to suffer much and wanted to kill himself for the things he didn’t deserve. In my point of view, he never deserves to die…

An angel should never feel anything towards another being, mortal, a human yet, why do I feel this way? Pity, sorrow, pain and even care. I don’t own these feelings, for these are Yoshito’s. Soon, if I were to keep on these, useless actions, I would learn how to feel. And I don’t want it, because humans are cruel with feelings and emotions. That is why angels are created without them. To stay pure. …I can’t be marred by them so I must stay away.

Even if my vision were strong in words, it was weak in my heart for I kept thinking about Yoshito for the past few days. He is, maybe, somewhat special for me because he consumed my thoughts with no end. I kept these feelings to myself and made some sort of resolution as maybe I was too excited to know the fact that humans could see angels. Yes, that may be it. Day after day I worked with nothing on my mind, then I thought that probablye did the trick! One day, I was assigned to reap the soul of a single man who caught himself in a car accident. I arrived shortly after the car exploded after the crash and dragged the soul of the burned corpse off from him to a place where there are less people and away from the commotion. He then woke up from fainting and when he saw me, with the scythe on my hand, he was scared until he shouted for help but when he came to his senses after seeing the fire, he remembered he was dead. He then turned to me and asked,

“W-What is going on…with me?”

I in return answered him as I answered any other souls I’ve pulled. “You are dead, sir and now I will send you to the Questioning Hall for your next step.” With one hand I lift up beside me, summoning a portal, which was a gift from God to do our work. Then I said to the soul, “Sir, please enter here and you’ll get there immediately.”

Then the man, still unsure of the situation was left no choice but to obey me and entered the portal. After he did so, I closed it and put away my scythe as it dissolves into thin air. I opened my notebook next and with a special kind of pen, I carved a ‘correct’ sign on the ‘progress’ box to show the task is complete.

When I was about to close my notebook, suddenly a voice of a man echoed through my ears, loud and clear. He was far behind me and said, which made me froze, unable to breathe, “You’re a death angel huh?” I couldn’t do anything but my head is filled with how to handle this situation, looking for a solution to get out from this. If this man, Yoshito would learn the truth, it cannot be help but what I feared is to be under him. He cannot do anything when he knew, nor could capture any evidence so our secret is kept hidden. Though he might ask questions, but it is my decision to answer, so why I am this scared? My imagination took the best of me so I took a deep breath and exhale it and do it once more to calm myself.

The boy then continued, “You lied about being my imaginary friend huh? And that’s why you were in front of me when I was about to kill myself.”

I then have to break the pressure he gave me. “Yes, now you know the truth, Yoshito Nagakura and as you are satisfied, I guess you can forget what you have seen,” I said while putting away my notebook and glanced him, behind me. “But if you can’t unseen it, I supposed you can keep your experience to yourself then. It is up to you who decide it.”

Those were my last words before I fly away but before I could get farther from him, he asked me a question which puzzled me more than the facts on how he could see me, or why do I contain these feelings of his.

“Wait! Could you at least tell me your name?” he shouted to me.

Floating in place with my mind on hold because of the question, I could not speak because was busy wondering what was the reason a question being given to me. No one had asked for my name, because all of the angels have theirs and we all being introduced to from the first day they are born and we memorize it, even if we don’t realize we did. After a moment, I turned to look at him, he still waits for an answer. With curiosity, I asked, “Why do you want to know?”

Yoshito immediately answered without hesitation, “Because you are the only bizarre thing that has happened to me in my life. I could never forget this, so I asked for your name if I ever forget your face.”

“That was…a plain answer so I will not give my name for some useless excuse.”

“Besides, I kept wondering what your name would be. At least give me a hint, will you?” he said while smiling at me.

It strucked me deep in the chest as if some form of lightning came rushing through my veins a second ago when his calm smile carved on his face. He smiled, for me? What in the world is this guy thinking actually? He is such a mysterious being, in the inside, made me want to know him deeper of who he really is. Such attitude being given to me, it was so odd that I can’t help myself from giving him, a hint to my name, no matter how little it is, I want to. So I said, before flying away, “My name, it starts with ‘E’.”


	5. Chapter 5

Every day, every night, I couldn’t stop thinking about that mortal. After that second encounter, it made me thinking if we were to meet for a reason. Was it fate who brought our eyes met? Or was it coincidence but we tend to go with the flow and to see where we led ourselves. I cannot think further than it is but only to just keep on doing my work as usual, hanging around the neighborhood to kill time, and discover new views around Japan. Sometimes, I witness some of the other death angels doing their jobs from afar and as our eyes met, we just nod for respect sake. A small talk is nothing for us and none of us try to gain trust nor friendship. It is the way for the angels because we have no emotions. Even though that fact hit me so hard, my heart wanted me to deny it because somehow, I’ve developed feelings because of that man. Whenever I have time, I would visit him secretly and watch his daily life just to get to know him better. Some might say, why not just go and ask him yourself rather than put this façade as if you don’t want to know for the sake of not getting close to him. The choices I made, are unreasonable, for this man. The desire that is pulling me to get close to him, is growing each day, which made me unbearably feel the pain, I endure, which forced me to forget who I really am. I cannot. It would be betrayal towards my creator, and I would be punished severely for disobeying His every order, every rule that was made for us, angels. It would label me as the ‘impure’. With an unsettling heart, I decided to go through the Rule Book back and see if there is a rule about getting close to humans. If I could, I want to get the chance to know Yoshito deeper, without being under his influence and avoid being corrupt. There are possibilities, but I don’t know if it will work yet. I have to try no matter what, for my heart’s sake.

I went to my dormitory which was built for the angels and different angels were living separately. As a death angel, we live in one building as one unit. After unlocking the door and closed it, I rushed to my bookshelf and searched for the Death Angel Rule Book which I should have remembered all of it since years ago, but somehow, I am uncertain of my memory. After turning page by page and read the words as fast as I could to find the real answer, finally, as I read at this one column about ‘Humans’, it only elaborated their lives, sins, estimated types of deaths, and how interaction with humans is fatal for us pure angels. It doesn’t say it is wrong but only to avoid it at all cost. When one doesn’t experience it yet, the outcome is unknown. Until then, even though I fear of the unknown, of what would happen to me, what really feared me is that I wouldn’t know at all! After reading through all of what I have searched for, even history never mentioned an angel who has a relationship with a human. It tickled my heart how I was the first, or probably all of the angels have died so and never was written as history, only lessons being told. Suddenly my notebook glowed, as a sign of a new work being assigned for me. As I look it over, there will be three deaths I must take care of tomorrow. The Sun is almost rising from the East. There is an hour left, so I lie on my bed and close my eyes until my time is up.


End file.
